Cries
If CRIES can CHANGE EVERYTHING, it would be BRILLIANT.
Dear readers, I would like for you guys to know that I am writing this with red eyes. No, I am not going to report what happened. Those words were my own imagination. When I create those words, my hands were shivering, my brain was suppressed, my pillow was wet from my tears, my mouth squealed in a bad way. It hurts. The pain was extremely bad.
Then those if only words kept on repeating. If only I do this, If only I'm not that, If only I can, and etc. Something bad happened recently to the extend I have to tear up.
If I cry, it would always not because of sadness. It would be because of stress. I never cried if I'm sad. Furthermore, I only cry if I've kept everything for so long and new things coming up and it compiles in my heart until to the extend when the heart can no longer contain it. It's just like the cloud. If it's too heavy for having too much water vapour, it pours rain.
I think this is one of the most terrible cry that I had.
Thus, I seek for HIS guidance and HIS comfort. He is a very loving God. I was tired of being too weak, I want to smile every time, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. I dont want to miss even a second of life of being happy. Being upset and sad is not healthy.
I only reported my problems to Allah. Only He understands me the most. Only he knows everything about me. I only hope for him to forgive me and fulfilled my prayers. I have my own role as being his servant. I tried to be a good servant to him. I tried to be better.
Do not even say, I do not try. I tried, but I failed as if for now. Failing is about you fall off after trying. Failing doesnt mean you are not good but stopped. Stop of trying. Succeeding means you getting right back up after falling. A change needs to start from small things, then it'll work perfectly.
So, by the end of this post, my eyes are already crystal clear, my hands already calmed down, my brain is already expand, my pillow is already dry, and my mouth is smiling. The pain was gone. I feel as light as cotton. My mood has been switched to a happy one. :) Smile helps reducing your sadness.
Emotionally written by,
Wadah :)
new past
